The End of The Beginning

 It's the 16th of July 2022.

Two years ago on this very day, my wife Laura was first diagnosed with breast cancer. She had found a lump on her left breast only a few weeks previous. I remember vividly, in bed that night, her telling me about it and me feeling it. I think we both agreed at the time, with a somewhat nervous conviction, not to worry about it. Fingers crossed and all that.

That was two years ago. Two years since we crossed our useless metaphorical fingers. Laura passed away on the 14th of June 2022, just over a month ago, from secondary breast cancer. She was 40 years old and left behind two children, Aden, 8 and Hallie, 6.

I have decided to write this blog for the following reasons:

• to give my children a framework in which to place their memories 
• to give them something to look back on that will give them context to the decisions I made 
• I'm hoping that through writing about my experiences it will help me cope with the loss of Laura.
• to help anyone in a similar situation.

So this is the beginning. Not the end. It's the same story, yet different. The same characters, slightly altered. A great script ripped up and rewritten in a different way, but not essentially a better way, by the same writer. The writer had the storyline mapped out, the characters in place and a vague but hopeful plot idea of how it would play out and end. A beginning and an end. As it should be. As it has been for eternity. 

So this is our new beginning and it will have an altogether different ending. We know that the story won't be as good. How can it be? With the main character missing, and let there be no mistake, that is exactly what she was, the story can't be anything but different. However, we will now write our own new story and we will fill it with colour, with hope and with love. 

This is the prologue to our story.

To face the future we need to recognise and acknowledge the events that led us to this point. Sadly, we only need go back two short years ago.